Alright world. Here it is. I promised a new blog awhile back, and didn't hold my end of the bargain. So now that I am hyped up on Red Bull and the medicine I'm taking for my tonsillitis, you get the aforementioned blog. Enjoy :)
Making yourself happy might be one of the most important things in the world. I have spent most of my life pleasing others and making sure they were happy. It wasn't until recently that I realized that the only way I can get through this crazy life is to be content with my surroundings. So I did a little housekeeping and removed the things in my life that were disturbing the peace. In place of these things, I have added elements that make me happy. For example, my best friend Liz and I had a falling out. Since we have lost contact, I have spent more time with Nathan. I realized that he actually makes me really happy. He comes with little baggage and doesn't promote drama or stress. Because of this little change, I have become a much easier person to be around. I also stopped trying to please others. By only making decisions I feel are right for myself, I find that people respect me more.
Making this switch in my life has been the best thing I could have done for myself. I request it for anyone in need of a pick-me-up or a new start. Life is a bit different now, but I'm adjusting. I have new friends, and a new outlook on how life should REALLY be.
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I want you to know Kayla that that was the main reason why it happened. I knew that is what you wanted and what you thought made you happiest, to be with Nathan, so I left you alone completely for you to do just that. I felt and still feel like you chose Nathan over me, who was supposed to be your best friend. The lying is what broke us. At the beginning of our friend relationship you understood I didn't put up with lying, so that really was "your bad." I could have put up with you choosing Nathan over me if you had left the lying out of the situation. I was told by Mary, after what I thought was confiding in her, that a letter/note/message telling you how I felt wouldn't work and since I don't do the confrontation thing....you know. So basically I was told that either talk to your face about it or don't and suffer. Before I was able to do anything I wanted to do, Wes and Mary both talked to you and told you things that I wanted to tell you. That was not their place and it was not your place to come to me with a facebook message telling me that you wanted to be friends again. I was so angry because it was my decision to not be friends like we were and it was up to me when I decide to be friends again. "Forcing" me into it was only pushing me away. You never even apologized for lying. You were asking me to change my morals and expectations for you, and I change for no one. I can put up with cheating better than I can put up with lying. That is just how I am made. This changes nothing and will not change anything. I said no apologizes because apparently there are no apologizes, at least according to you. I wanted to tell you this the other day, but you hit me with that bombshell of you and Mary moving, even though I know you had no intentions of telling me or Wes, especially since you didn't after you did it so we could make other arrangements. I have it off my chest now and after we move, we never have to speak or see each other again. That is the impression I got so that is what I'm going with. Have a good life.
P.S. I wouldn't play games with Nathan and his friend you are trying to date. They caught on to the last one and weren't thrilled. Just thought I would tell you that because some part of me does still care somewhat about you and I really do just want you to be happy, but do it in the right way so you can spread your happiness and let other people enjoy it with you.
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