the dress

I'm standing looking down,
dressed in a gown of lace and beauty.
tears fall as I remember...

fights,
cries,
begging,
pleading.

As I remove the heap of fabric from my body,
my past falls with it.
Dreams of a future will never happen,
But all ties are gone
and I'm left with nothing.

waahoo!

Back at Ingram?

I am getting over a rare bacterial infection :/ but i am feeling much better.

I am kind of tired of being single, but Im not gonna settle.

life is so boring right now.

I want to go back this exact time last year. it was perfect.

laundry is still behind. go figure.

I hate my new car, and want my blue one back.

I love my new friend Brittany. she is my twin :)

Red Bull and Tonsillitis (and the blog I promised)

Alright world. Here it is. I promised a new blog awhile back, and didn't hold my end of the bargain. So now that I am hyped up on Red Bull and the medicine I'm taking for my tonsillitis, you get the aforementioned blog. Enjoy :)


Making yourself happy might be one of the most important things in the world. I have spent most of my life pleasing others and making sure they were happy. It wasn't until recently that I realized that the only way I can get through this crazy life is to be content with my surroundings. So I did a little housekeeping and removed the things in my life that were disturbing the peace. In place of these things, I have added elements that make me happy. For example, my best friend Liz and I had a falling out. Since we have lost contact, I have spent more time with Nathan. I realized that he actually makes me really happy. He comes with little baggage and doesn't promote drama or stress. Because of this little change, I have become a much easier person to be around. I also stopped trying to please others. By only making decisions I feel are right for myself, I find that people respect me more.

Making this switch in my life has been the best thing I could have done for myself. I request it for anyone in need of a pick-me-up or a new start. Life is a bit different now, but I'm adjusting. I have new friends, and a new outlook on how life should REALLY be.

It's been awhile...

It's been awhile, and I honestly miss the joy of writing about anything but ex-boyfriends. I miss writing about the joys of life, the birds outside of my window, the smell of his shirt on my body the next morning, how music makes me feel. So this is my promise. I will be writing on this blog at least every other day. Here is the catch...I will ONLY write positive, uplifting things. No more of this "I hate my life and/or my ex-boyfriend so I am going to write about how depressed I am". That's just not me anymore.

So there ya go world...a new and improved Kayla :)

going crazy.

I am hurting from the inside out.
Not wanted,
useless,
all I can do is sleep
and feel the hurt that so many people
I love caused.
no job.
no boyfriend.
no life.
friends die.
I fall even deeper into depression.

saturday the 16th.

the way you say my name makes me feel like the only other person alive. You give me cute little kisses that send my heart into shock. I didn't know I could feel so much passion. You see right through my shield. And you can see my flaws...but you don't seem to mind. Staying up really late seems to be a budding trend for us. Mostly because we don't want to stop talking. But for me, I don't want to miss any moment I can share with you.