kayla's happy place.

you know how people tell you to go to your happy place? my happy place is difficult to explain, but i will do my best.

I am listening to Michael Gungor and lying down. My brain is completely clear of all the junk i my life, and I am free of all obstacles. i can be me. not the Kayla that is perfect. not the kayla that has to make everyone happy and set out fires. I can be the person the Lord made me.

I then drift off into a world where there is an ocean. my thoughts are so vivid, that i can feel the mist. smell the salt water. this is where i am happy. no one around. just me. i live for the moments in my life where i can go here. i can be the screwup and it doesnt even matter. no one is there to comment. just me, the water, and the Lord.

this is where i go to escape reality.

a small rant to you.

god.

why cant i just move on? I just want to wake up and not be terrified of going to sleep again because you haunt my dreams. You did this to me. You turned me into this horrible girl who has to depend on a jerk who cant even live up to promises. I hope one day you realize what you have done. I hope it hurts. Hurts a pain you NEVER thought was possible to feel. Because trust me, I am there right now. Thanks. Thanks a whole lot.